Ways to Annoy Dr Pellinore Warthrop
by Luigisgirlfriend
Summary: Pellinore Xavier Warthrop is a man with standards... Most of the time. And when two teenage girls come to his house with the sole purpose of annoying the life out of him, what's a man like Dr. Warthrop to do? Persist.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! So… I recently read the 'Monstrumologist' book series and… Well… IT'S THE BEST BOOK SERIES I'VE EVER READ IN-A MY LIFE! … And, so, seeing as that Dr. Warthrop is so easily annoyed, I decided to… Well… Make this story :3 I hope you all enjoy! R&R!**

"… This takes a whole lot of concentration, Will Henry," Dr. Pellinore Warthrop murmured. Will Henry nodded, his pencil poised just above his notebook.

"One slip of the scalpel and our specimen here could be severed in two pieces… Will Henry? Are you paying attention?" Pellinore glanced at Will quickly.

"Yes, sir," Will Henry replied, nodding vigorously. Dr. Warthrop returned his gaze to the _Allghoi khorkhoi_, or, as it was commonly known as, a Mongolian Death Worm. Six inches in length, the eyeless, seemingly harmless, snake-like creature could kill a man with its venom in less than an hour. However, the Death Worm that the doctor was holding had been sedated so it could be examined.

"Scalpel," Dr. Warthrop extended his hand towards Will Henry.

"Scalpel," Will Henry repeated, handing Pellinore said tool. Dr. Warthrop bent down over the creature dangling in his hand. With exact precision, he began to slice the creature right down the center.

Steady…

Steady…

_SLAM! _The door to the basement swung open and crashed against the wall. Dr. Warthrop's hand slipped and he cut the Mongolian Death Worm right in half. He whipped around, his eyes brimmed with rage, just as two figures bounded down the steps.

They were two, teenager-looking girls, standing at the bottom of the steps, gazing around with curiosity. One of the girls had dirty-blonde hair that fell past her shoulders and ice-blue eyes. She was wearing a red shirt with blue jeans and had on fingerless gloves.

The other girl had long, dark brown almost black hair and dark emerald green eyes. She was wearing a purple shirt with a black stripe down the middle and blue jeans. The most curious thing about this girl was that she had two, brown, feathery wings folded behind her back.

Dr. Warthrop glared at the two teenagers while gently laying the destroyed Mongolian Death Worm on the table in front of him. Will Henry was looking from the girls to Dr. Warthrop and so on.

"Who are you? You have no right to come down here!" Dr. Warthrop shouted, unable to mask his anger. The winged girl looked over.

"There he is!" she cried, and her and the other girl ran to Dr. Warthrop and tackled him in a hug. Dr. Warthrop cried out in anger and surprise. He fell to the ground, but not before accidentally falling into the table, flipping to Death Worm into the air.

The Mongolian Death Worm sailed through the air and landed on Will Henry's notebook. Disgusted, Will Henry dropped his notebook. The two girls were hugging the fallen Pellinore around the waist. Dr. Warthrop sat up and tried to shove the girls off… It didn't work.

"Hi!" The girls smiled up at the enraged doctor.

"What… Are… You… Doing… Down… Here?!" The doctor demanded shrilly.

"We are in dire need or your assistance, my good man," the girl without wings said in a fake British accent.

"Indeed," the girl with wings nodded. Will Henry remained silent, watching from behind the table.

"Will Henry! Do you know these two young women?" Dr. Warthrop asked.

"N-No, sir," Will Henry stuttered.

"Sooo… Anyways, my friend here-" the winged girl motioned to the other girl. "-we need jobs."

"There are no jobs for you here, I assure you," Warthrop growled.

"Why? Because you're a monstrumologist that encounters many dangerous creatures that could put our lives in danger?" the girl without wings questioned.

"Well… Yes…" Dr. Warthrop muttered.

"Well, danger is my middle name!" the girl with wings declared.

"No, your middle name is Marie," the girl without wings pointed out. The winged girl glared at her.

"… What are your names?" Warthrop asked, still struggling to escape the girls' hug. The two girls climbed to their feet and helped the doctor up.

"I'm Samantha!" the winged girl declared.

"I'm Madz!" the girl without wings proclaimed.

"… Madz and Samantha… I'm afraid I don't have any jobs available at this moment," Dr. Warthrop said evenly, managing to get his anger under control.

"Well… We could use a couple maids…" Will Henry murmured.

"Yes! See? You could use maids!" Madz exclaimed. Dr. Warthrop glared at Will Henry, causing the latter to flinch.

"… Well… I… I suppose… We could… Use some… Maids…" The doctor said, very hesitantly. The two girls cheered.

"You shan't be disappointed, Warthrop!" Samantha grinned evilly.

"Where shall we be staying?" Madz interrogated.

"Will Henry, please lead these two to my mother's old room. Snap to, Will Henry! Snap to!" Dr. Warthrop yelled. Will Henry quickly lead Samantha and Madz to said room. It turned out that both girls had brought a suitcase each filled with everything they needed.

"Thanks, Will Henry," Samantha said as she sat down on the bed and started looking through her suitcase.

"You're welcome, ma'am," Will Henry whispered.

"Oh, please, call me Samantha. Or Sam for short."

"Okay, ma'am."

Madz giggled. Will Henry bowed his head.

"I'll, uh, leave you to get settled," He stated before quickly leaving the room. Madz and Sam looked at each other and exchanged a high-five.

"That was awesome!" Samantha yelled.

"I know! We _totally_ aced that!" Madz agreed.

"Heck, that was easier than getting into Bleck's castle!" Samantha giggled. Madz joined in.

"So, what's our next annoyance?" She asked.

"Hmm… We have 'glomp him' done… Ooh! How about this one!" Samantha pointed to another choice on the list. Madz looked at it.

"Perfect."

**Yeah… :3 That was fun! X3 Hope you all enjoyed! OH, and I'm NOT taking any more people. It's just me and Madz! 'K? Thanks :) Thanks! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Second chapter! Yay! R&R! **

Dr. Warthrop worked through the night. He had just discovered something new and was intent on examining it closer. The doctor didn't realize it was morning until Will Henry came down the stairs.

"Oh, you're already awake," Will stated. The monstrumologist ignored him. Either that or didn't hear him. The doctor continued his work, bent over the table in front of him. Will Henry started to approach him, but a large din was heard from the kitchen.

Pellinore's head snapped up. He looked at Will Henry.

"Will Henry! When did you get there?" He snapped.

"I've been here for a couple minutes, sir," Will Henry responded honestly.

"Are you being cheeky?" Dr. Warthrop asked.

"No, sir."

Another racket came from the kitchen. Dr. Warthrop looked up the stairs.

"Are the girls up?" He asked.

"Not when I got up, sir."

"Are they up now?"

"I guess so, sir."

"Let us go check," Dr. Warthrop put down the tools in his hands and strode to the stairs. Once in the kitchen, he looked around in blunt annoyance. Samantha was lying on the ground, a broken egg clutched in her hand. Madz was standing by the door, her hand covered with pancake batter. There was an assortment of different foods spread over the floor. Both of the girls looked up as the doctor and his assistant came in.

"Uh… G'morning," Madz smiled sheepishly.

"Hi," Samantha muttered. Will Henry slowly walked over and offered Samantha his hand. Samantha gratefully let Will pull her to her feet.

"Thanks," she smiled.

"You're welcome, m-"

"Samantha. Call me Samantha."

"Yes, ma'am."

Madz laughed. Dr. Warthrop bowed his head, trying to control his anger/annoyance.

"Samantha… Madz… I want you both to clean up this mess. Snap to, girls! _Snap to_!" Sam and Madz looked at each other; now was the perfect time to put their plan into action. Slowly, oh-so-slowly, the girls walked over to the kitchen counter. As slowly as they could, they picked up a few things and slowly took them over and put them in the trash bin.

"Snap _to_!" Warthrop demanded. "_Snap to_!"

"Yyyyyyeeeeeesssss, ssssssiiiiiiirrrrrrr," Samantha dragged out her syllables very slowly. Pellinore's eye twitched.

"Stop being so slow," he whispered threateningly.

"Ooooookkkkkkkaaaayyyyy," Madz replied. Will Henry bit his lip. Samantha and Madz- after lots of shouting from Warthrop- finally, after about an hour, managed to get the entire kitchen clean.

"… Both of you. To bed. Snap to!" Dr. Warthrop demanded.

"Sir? It's morning…" Will Henry reminded his master. Dr. Warthrop's eyes flashed.

"You mean I have to put up with their annoying behavior _all day_?!" Pellinore demanded. Will Henry nodded and then shook his head.

"Yes, sir. No, sir. I don't know, sir."

Samantha and Madz were staring at the two, blinking and breathing slowly. Neither of them moved. Warthrop glanced at them.

"You are hereby grounded to your room for the rest of the day. Get to your rooms. Snap _to_!" he shooed them out of the room, which took longer than he would have liked because they were moving so slowly. As soon as the girls closed the door to their room, they burst out laughing.

* * *

"Sir?" Will Henry asked quietly. Dr. Warthrop looked at him.

"What."

"What were you doing in the basement?"

At this, Pellinore clapped his hands loudly.

"Ah! That's right! My discovery! Come, Will Henry! I have something to show you!" And so, the doctor dragged Will back into the basement.

**Review please! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Me- YAY~! Madz wrote this chapter! :D IT'S AWESOME.**

**Mr. L- ... Madz... Isn't she-**

**Madz- Fezzes64. **

**Me- Hi, Madz! :3 **

**Mr. L- Yeah, hi. **

**Madz- Hi, everypony!**

**Mr. L- ... Ha... Ha ha... XD XD XD This chapter is hilarious! **

**Me- IKR?! XD XD **

**Madz- :3 R&R! **

Up in Dr. Warthrop's Mother's room, the two girls whispered suspiciously, and of course, making the doctor curious. What could they possibly be on about? It wasn't like they were Monstrumologists, or knew what the study was…Or did they?

"Careful now, Will Henry…" Warthrop warned softy, as Will Henry moved a cylindrical container holding a specimen known as Spirometra mansoni, one of Warthrop's favorites, and, of course, another species Will Henry had heard about, but just didn't know what it was.

Will Henry concentrated so hard on getting the nearly overflowing beaker not to spill, that he nearly started in surprise when Warthrop murmured the warning once again. With his arm trembling slightly, he finally got the beaker over the tank and poured the contents gratefully into the new home for the dead worm-like creature.

It floated oddly in the tank with others who'd suffered the same fate, now forever to be preserved in a jar.

"Spirometra mansoni," muttered the doctor. "A species more commonly known as a flatworm…Usually, it will take its place in a human brain, naturally, and feed on your cerebral matter until you're reduced to a state completely otherworldly to ours."

"That's…Very nice, sir…" Will Henry replied sheepishly, not really knowing what to make of it.

So, like a parade, Dr. Warthrop and Will Henry marched back upstairs…Only to hear soft singing with brushstrokes to the beat of the song.

It was the two girls, Samantha and Madz, as the boy and the man recalled, both singing some strange song they'd never heard before.

"Far away," Sweep, sweep. "This ship is taking us faraway," Sweep, sweep, sweep. "Far away from the memories," Sweep, sweep. "Of the people who-"

"What are you doing?!" demanded Warthrop heatedly.

Madz decided to imitate on of Warthrop's earlier quotes.

"This is what most men call 'Sweeping'." She said, smirking cheekily.

Samantha giggled and flapped her brown wings once, defiantly.

"It's also called 'Being your maids'."

"She has a point, sir…" Will Henry dared to mumble to Warthrop, but knew as soon as those words made the journey from his mouth in the air that it was a severe mistake.

Warthrop nearly exploded, his tall frame shaking with his fury, but just as he began one of his classic fits, Samantha interrupted.

"WAIT!"

Everyone paused a moment to look at her as she bent down and scooped a dust bunny off the floor. When she stood up, she waved dismissively and said "Okay, you can go now."

His face growing crimson, he attempted to control his anger, and stomped once.

"YOU. OUT. NOW." He demanded to Samantha, pointing upstairs.

"As you wish, you're majesty." Samantha said, bowing so low her nose nearly brushed her knees, then she stood up and made a giant show of sashaying up the stairs.

Will Henry had a hard time controlling the sudden urge to laugh.

Madz raised her index finger.

"I-"

"You go with her NOW."

"Y-yes sir, right away, sir." she muttered.

She then jumped to the foot of the stairs, which was at least twenty feet away, then she jumped up again, landing at the top of the steps, leaving the two males to gape in astonishment.

"I think that song's too far in the future…" Will Henry heard Samantha say to Madz.

"Yeah," she agreed. "This is, what, 1888, 1889? That song, 'Starlight', was written by Muse in 2006, I believe."

"Yup."

Will Henry and Warthrop glanced, confused, at each other. Were these girls not only Supernatural beings, possibly not of this world, much like what Monstrumology involved, but also from a different time period entirely?

"Will Henry…" the doctor started.

"Yes, sir?"

"I would steer clear of those girls."

"…I would too, sir."

"Now what were we doing?"

"Uh…I was going to ask to go to the market place to…Get-"

"Food? Again, Will Henry, it appears food is the only thing that dominates your limited capacity!"

"N-no, sir! I think about lots of things-"

"Like what? Food?"

"Yes-I mean no, sir!"

As Warthrop prepared to hurl his retort in Will Henry's face, there was a loud thump from upstairs, an 'Ow.', then more giggling.

"…Snap to, Will Henry, snap to! And quit tripping!" Samantha shouted, laughing as she made her voice all deep and weird sounding.

"Yes, sir!" Madz called back in a normal voice-Which resembled Will Henry's in some strange turn of the universe-but based on the next thump, the boy and man predicted she tripped again.

Warthrop clenched and unclenched his fists and soon muttered "Will Henry, go to the market place…"

"Yes sir, right away sir."

And with that, Will Henry hastened out of the house, not knowing that as he passed the girls room on the upper floor, that a dark shape crouched like a panther in the window, lean, thin, and with a hood thrown over its head, leaped out deftly and followed him.

Warthrop currently muttered a series of things he had to do and couldn't seem to decide on which one to do first, so he started to go towards the basement to think, when he saw Samantha lazily gliding down the stairs upside down until she landed softly on the floor, sliding a few inches.

"Hee…That was fun…" she said, flapping her wings once and landing on her feet.

She noticed Warthrop gaping at her and forced herself not to laugh.

"Hi, Dr. Warthrop! I know your middle name!"

"Go back to your room. One child is enough. Three is torture."

"Nice to see you too! I know your middle name!" Samantha said gleefully, as if he didn't say anything.

"Alright, what's my middle name?"

Samantha giggled and stuck her tongue out.

"Dr. Pellinore Xavier Warthrop. That's your name."

Warthrop's face then went rather red with anger.

Will Henry slowly retrieved his items from the counter and walked out the door, trudging at an unusual pace that he kept when in deep thought. Unfortunately, when in deep thought, he was practically completely unaware of his surroundings.

"Hey, kid. Gimme your money." A random robber said.

This robber happened to be unknowing of this area, never having been here, therefore did not know of this boy, or, for that matter, the other adolescent beside him, with a red hood over...his/her head. He couldn't tell.

"You too, puny."

"Uh, how about 'No'?" The red-clad one said, in a rather female-sounding voice.

Will Henry jumped at hearing the others voice, and finally realized what was happening.

"I said, Give...me...your...MONEY!" the robber bellowed, launching himself at Will.

Immediately, the red-hooded person leapt at the robber, meeting his blow, and pushing him back. At this action, the hood was whipped back by the wind, and as you probably figured out by now, it was Madz.

Madz did a spin-kick, catching the robber in the side and making him double over in pain. She then did a perfect right streak, and twisted back around to meet his falling body with a punch in the gut. Then, doing a well-aimed karate kick, she finally let him fall over and cast a glance at Will Henry.

* * *

"Pellinore, can I have a cookie?"

"No. What's a cookie?! And stop calling me Pellinore!"

"Pellinore, can I have some cake?"

"NO. AND stop calling me PELLINORE!"

"Pellinore, can Madz and I become Wolverine and Captain America?"

Warthrop didn't reply, shocked, and Samantha took it as a yes. She then snapped her fingers, and, glowing a bright blue, suddenly was dressed in what Warthrop could describe as a 'Yellow morph suit with black suspenders and pants'. she then allowed her knuckles to protrude three long metal blades each.. Soon after that, Will Henry and Madz burst in, and as soon as Madz saw Samantha, she smirked and raised a fist into the air. She opened her fist, and her Black Fingerless-gloved hands held a glowing light that soon transformed her into a 'Red, White, and Blue morph suit with red hunter boots, a mask with wings, and a steel shield'.

Will Henry nearly fainted.

"Sh-sh-she can f-fight…" he reported to Warthrop, rather shakily.

At that, Samantha got an evil grin, and in a deep, scratchy voice, she said "It's on, bub."

Madz got the message, and got into battle position.

"I promise to take it easy on you." She leered.

"I don't fight girl scouts," Samantha retorted, charging.

Then, to Warthrop's dismay, Madz and Samantha began fighting, preforming perfect moves and dodging each other's as easily as hopping.

Then, they gradually took the fight to the basement, eventually rolling down the stairs, making Warthrop cry out and run after them, yelling for them to stop.

And poor Will stood there extremely awkwardly…

**Me and Mr. L- *Are ROTFL, laughing so hard we can't breathe***

**Madz- :3**

**Mr. L- T-Too f-funny! XD XD XD **

**Me- Y-Yus! XD XD XD**

**Madz- I try :D **

**Me- P-Please review! X3 **


	4. Chapter 4

**Me- This is a short chapter, isn't it?**

**Will Henry- Yes, ma'am. **

**Madz- :3**

**Mr. L- … **

**Me- Anyways… R&R!**

"Will Henry, I am a complete failure!" Pellinore cried. Will Henry sat in the chair next to the distressed doctor's bed.

"No, you're not, sir-"

"Yes, you are."

"Yep, total failure."

Dr. Warthrop and Will looked up at the two girls that stood in the doorway.

"W-What?" Pellinore asked.

"You're right. You're a failure," Samantha shook her head.

"None of your discoveries have ever helped anyone," Madz confirmed. Will Henry bit his lip.

"N-No you're not, sir," He murmured.

"Worst failure ever," Samantha continued.

"Yep," Madz stifled a giggle.

"G-Get out of my room!" Dr. Warthrop moaned.

"Okie-dokie!" The girls left.

"…" Will Henry looked at the doctor. "I… Sir, I didn't think they would leave."

"We didn't leave."

"GET OUT!" Pellinore yelled.

"Alright, alright," The girls left again.

"Don't listen to them, sir," Will Henry sighed. "They're just… Here to annoy you… I think…"

"You're quite right, Will Henry," Pellinore muttered. "… But they're right! I'm a failure!" He broke down again. Will Henry stifled a yawn.

"No…"

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"Yep."

"Uh-huh."

"Would you two just leave already?!" Will Henry stood up and turned sharply to the two girls. The girls flinched and then turned and quickly left.

"That… Wasn't very… Polite… But… Thank you," Dr. Warthrop stuttered. Will Henry was silent. "Will Henry?"

"You're not a failure, sir," Will Henry said, returning to his chair. The argument went on all night, but the girls didn't return to take part in it.

**Me- We… We got yelled at…**

**Madz- Wow… We did… **

**Will Henry- … Yeah, sorry about that, madams… **

**Me- *In a British accent* Don't worry, good ol' chap! The apology has been accepted!**

**Madz- *Also in a British accent* Indeed! **

**Mr. L- … You girls are annoying. **

**Madz and I- We know! :D**

**Mr. L- -_-**

**Will Henry- … Hee hee… **

**Me- :3 Please review! **


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